The end of 2016 is here. Many called this year the worst year ever. Some referred to it as a giant dumpster fire. This wasn't a great year for me. Mostly because Chloe had so many health problems. I feel like I spent most of my at the vet and sitting beside myself with worry. 

On top of that America, or should I say Russia, elected a cowardly man who thinks he can bring jobs back to a nation that has computerized almost all aspects of those occupations.

Coal? Really? You really want to go back to working in a coal mine? Really? 

How are you going to pay for your black lung with limited or no health insurance?

Anyway, despite a sick dog, the election of a narcissistic asshole and the deaths of countless artists/actors 2016 wasn't a total washout, at least for me.

I started running again! Whoohoo! I ran a marathon, in the pouring rain, on 2 hours of sleep (thanks anxiety!) and I made a new personal record, I beat my previous time by 30 minutes! It was really awesome and unlike the last marathon I ran, I ran it injury free. I was a lot smarter this time around, and when I would feel the slightest pain, I would back off, rest or head to the gym for strength training instead of  running. Running this last marathon made me feel really proud of myself, something I haven't felt in a long time.

2016 was also the year I got to pet sloths! Nate took me to an animal sanctuary for my birthday where we got to pet and feed sloths. It was one of the best presents I've ever received. It was something that I will never forget. I hope to one day travel to South America to see and pet more.

On top of those highlights we drank good wine, had a visit from Nate's parents, went camping and got to see a Mariner's game in Seattle. Overall, 2016 wasn't so bad for me. I'm looking forward to 2017 with caution. Let's hope it's a good year for everyone!

It's Christmas Eve! One of the most exciting nights of the year for lots of people. I, for one, am excited. I love Christmas. Every year I think maybe this will be the year that I don't really love it as much as I used to. Maybe I'm just getting a little too old for this. And every year I prove myself wrong. Actually, I am more in love with Christmas this year than any year I can remember. I just can't get enough of all the lights and music and candles.

This was actually from last year...but it still looks the same!!

It's kind of funny because I really thought this would be the year that I might want to not celebrate it as much. I thought this would be the year that I kind of poo-pooed it. It's not like we really have a lot to look forward to. Almost all of our friends have moved away. Our families live 3,000 miles away and it's been a tough year for me in general.

But maybe that's why I'm loving it so much this year. The lights, the music and the cozy home feeling I created is so comforting to me right now. It makes me happy and that's why I think I'm really loving it so much. 

On another note, I really didn't want to mention anything about politics in this blog post because it's Christmas and because frankly I'm so tired of it, but Nate's mom shared this podcast with me and I've found it very helpful. It's called Advice from Mom. A woman, and her mom, who is a therapist, take listener questions about their emotions and feeling about the president elect and his decisions. 

Honestly, just listening to her mom's voice is calming, so when she starts diving into our reactions toward politics, it feels very reassuring. Her advice is wonderful too. For about two weeks after the election I, like most people, felt like we had suffered a huge loss. It felt for me, almost like 9/11. I was feeling so many emotions, I couldn't focus and I would just click aimlessly around different news sources on the internet hoping to find some little glimmer of hope that maybe this wasn't really happening. She addresses those feelings in the first episode and was very reassuring that those feelings were totally normal.  That what we're feeling now is also very normal and she goes on to give advice on how to channel those feelings into positive outlets.

So, if you are still feeling lost, and I know I am, maybe listening to this podcast might help.

Well, I'm going to go sit in my living room, enjoy my Christmas tree, my dog, my boyfriend and I'm going to watch something festive. I hope that everyone can find some peace and light the next few days.

I'm about to get a little Polly Anna here for a moment, so forgive me. Participating in this craft fair was a little emotional for me. Seeing people wearing "Not My President" t-shirts and "Nasty Woman" t-shirts made me tear up a little bit and it made me feel really lucky to live in a city where so many people share the same views I do about our president elect.

The other great thing about doing a big craft fair like this is seeing people's reactions to my work. Seeing people smile and laugh is really one of the best things about doing this. I am alone for most of my day and there is very little human interaction. To see a person's face light up and a smile cross their face validates my reasons for drawing and painting the things that I love to create.



This really sweet 9 year old girl came to my table. She picked up my sloth hugs card and let out a quiet squeal. She then saw that I had a print of it. She picked it up and gave it a hug! She looked at her dad with the biggest brown eyes I've ever seen and needless to say, he bought it for her. Seeing things like that just make my heart smile so much.

It's more than just the customers too. Seeing people that I've done this craft fair with for years is always so nice. Giving hugs and catching up is something that I always love. Especially after the year we've all had. I felt a lot of love at this last Crafty and it made me feel a little better about the upcoming year and our current political climate.

At the end of the weekend over 20,000 people came and I broke another sales record! I'd like to say thanks to everyone who came out and supported local artists and makers. I really hope I'm accepted again next year. Fingers crossed.

Okay, Pollyanna moment is over. Thanks for bearing with me with that!

I've been taking some time off since Crafty Wonderland, and it's been great! I've been busy wrapping gifts and doing Christmas shopping and really just enjoying the holiday season. I'm so grateful that I can do this. I remember working retail for many years and it was so hard for me to really take this in. Being in my feet all day, was terribly exhausting and it kind of made me dislike the holidays. I'm so happy I work for myself now and I can take a few days off.

I have been working on shipping my Etsy orders and I've gotten a couple of commissions this past week. I worked on 13 year old Gus last weekend. It's for a lovely lady's parents who are just in love with their little old pug. He's not doing very well so she wanted to give her parents something really special to help remember him when he's no longer around.

I like the texture of this portrait. The grass is made up of little brushstrokes of different colors of green. The flowers were really watery paint that I kept adding blues and pinks to.
I hope they like it and I hope that Gus gets to live many more years with them.

Crafty Wonderland is this weekend! I've been really busy all week getting ready for this enormous event. It's so much work but, at the end of the weekend, it's so very worth it. 

One of my favorite things about doing this show is seeing all my vendor friends. Catching up with them and seeing, in person, what they've been making is really fun. This job can get a bit lonely sometimes, so connecting with others who do similar work is really great.

I also love seeing the customers who shop every year and make a point to come over to my booth to say hello. Some of them have been shopping this craft fair every year for the past 6 years. You see their families grow and connect with them about your new work.

It's such a great reminder on why I love being an artist. By the end of the weekend I am so exhausted, but I'm also excited about making new work and being in this community of makers and artists. 

Yesterday I did a mock set up of my booth. It helps me feel a little more confidant about the set up today. It also helps me remember everything that I need to bring. I think one of the hardest things about doing a craft fair is remembering everything that you need to have on hand. All those little things that aren't art, or work, but the tools you need to have to help put the booth together. Tape, scissors, business cards, pens, snacks, etc. etc. etc.

We had a bit of a snow day yesterday. It's mostly all ice right now and I'm really hoping most of it has melted by the time I have to load up my car and drive down to the Convention Center. I don't mind a good snow day as long as I don't have to drive in it. I was reminded of the two years I lived in Michigan while the flakes were falling. It snowed a lot there and I actually really liked it as long as I didn't have to go anywhere. They did salt and plow the roads really well there, so driving wasn't usually too bad, but I still found it slightly terrifying, even there.
The ice is supposed to melt later this morning and it looks like just plain old rain for this weekend. Good news for the big craft fair!

It was also very windy yesterday. My little humming bird friend hung around my back yard most of the day. I could hear her tweeting and I saw her hanging out on this branch quite a bit. I made sure to keep her food from freezing and gave her a little refresher mid day. She's one tough little bird. It was freezing yesterday and that wind was brutal. I hope she made it through the night. I have yet to see her this morning.

Well, if you're in Portland this weekend, please come by the Convention Center from 11-6. It's free and it's so much fun. You can meet local artists and find some really awesome gifts. And hopefully there won't be any ice! 

I've mentioned that I've been making a lot of art the past few weeks. It's been really great for me to focus on something other than the news, fake news and all other media these past few weeks. I have a huge craft fair coming up next weekend, so it's felt really good to get new work made and feel productive. That first week after the election was really hard for me to focus on work. I just kept pointlessly clicking on different news links and I kept clicking from Facebook, to Twitter, to Instagram and on and on and on. I felt like maybe if I just kept clicking on different websites I would find and answer to how it came to voting for our current president elect. I felt like I was just waiting for a news site to come out and say that it had all been a big mistake. 

There are some days that I still kind of feel that way, but I feel like it's getting better. I've been able to turn into myself more and my work for comfort and relief. 

These are some of the pieces that I've been working on. They're all posted in my Etsy shop, except for the deer painting. That sold this morning to an acquaintance of mine in Tennessee! 

Sometimes I feel fortunate that I have this skill to turn to when I feel upset, afraid, worried and depressed. Sometimes I feel like because I have this skill I am more sensitive to the world's problems,  and to my family and friend's problems too. I take things to heart and I feel like sometimes that complicates my life. I'm often left feeling overwhelmed by many things and I think that's just one of the reasons making art is so great for my well being. Making marks is meditative for me. Deciding which colors I use is a great distraction too. Figuring out space and composition allows me to use my brain in a much more productive/positive way. I notice I sleep better on the days that I spend making art.

The future seems a bit scary right now but at least I have my work, my dog and family to be there for me.

Hi! I'm back! So much has happened since I last blogged!

I ran a marathon and killed it! As you can see from the photo it rained that day. It actually poured the entire time I ran, but that didn't stop me! I beat my last marathon time by 45 minutes, technically. They didn't have people at the right corner telling my group where to turn, so we added an additional .30 miles to the marathon route. I finished at 4:42 minutes, but if we hadn't taken the wrong turn, I would have finished in 4:32 minutes according to my watch. I ended up breaking my PR for time AND distance that day!

I also finished this painting! The woman who commissioned it loved it. She wrote me an e-mail telling me her two sons felt like rock stars when she gave it to them. That totally made my day! She lives in Florida and I somehow managed to time my shipping of the painting with Hurricane Matthew. Luckily it did make it to her, but it was delayed for a few days. Those few delayed days were a little stressful! Thankfully she and her family were fine and the painting arrived undamaged.

We also had a huge election since I last blogged. Unfortunately, for me and for a lot of people I know, the candidate I voted for lost. I'm still not over the loss. I'm not sure I ever really will be. The president elect scares and angers me. His ideas on women's health, immigration, health insurance and basic civil rights are the complete opposite of what I feel is good for the country. Knowing that so many people voted for him, and from what I've been reading, why they voted for him, is beyond all my comprehension. 

Honestly,  I've been kind of in a dark place since the election. I've just had an overwhelming feeling of fear and sadness. I've been trying to make art and trying to stay away from social media. I don't want to ignore what's going on in the world, but being exposed to it all day wears on me mentally. By the end of the day I feel emotionally exhausted. I also know that I can't get away from it completely. I rely on social media to promote my work and this website. I think right now, limiting exposure to it is the only thing that will help.

I've been trying to help out organizations that I feel strongly about, Planned Parenthood, the ACLU, BARK, and even a little Boston Terrier Rescue in Southern California (which probably won't have any impact from our president elect, but I'm for helping BTs). I'm hoping to get out and do some volunteer work when Crafty Wonderland is over, and I have some more time to dedicate to that. I'm looking into volunteering at 350PDX, a local environmental organization.

I know it's important to be involved and I want to try to get out there and help if I can. It's also hard to do when you're an introvert like me. It's hard for me to get out of my comfort zone. In my mind I know that I will feel better to get out and be proactive, but there's also part of my mind that just wants to donate money instead of my time... Which is fine, but I feel that being actively involved would help too.

Anyway, maybe you feel the same way. Maybe you don't and that's okay too. It feels good to be working on this blog again. Hopefully it will provide a nice space for me to voice my opinions and share my work with you!

Opps! It's been awhile. We went camping Friday and Saturday for Nate's 40th Birthday and it's taken me awhile to get caught up on everything this week. 

It was a great weekend. The weather was beautiful. We went with a couple of friends and did a little swimming and a little fishing. We ate hot dogs and had a birthday pie. Of course we also had s'mores and some drinks too. It was really great to be in the woods for a couple of days, away from phones and computers.

 I ran 10 miles around Timothy Lake. My third time running around it! My legs and ankles feel great. I had a little back pain today, but it's manageable. I can't believe I'm up to 10 miles. I really wasn't sure if I'd ever run that distance again. I'm so happy that things are going well in that department.

Chloe is also doing really well. She threw up when we first arrived at the camp site, and I was really worried the first night we were there. I think it was just the car ride because she was fine all weekend and she's been great all week. I think we're finally out of the woods with her health. For now anyway, and I'm totally embracing that.

It's been a good week. I've been painting, prepping panels for paintings and putting wholesale orders together. Life is really great right now and I'm embracing that as well.

I'm hoping to get more blogging done next week! 

What a week it's been. There's been so much heartbreak. I feel emotionally and physically drained. I don't want to be silent about how unjust it was for those two black men to be shot by cops for a routine traffic stop. I understand that my white skin affords me the privilege of never feeling afraid of being harassed, or even killed, by cops. It also allows me privileges in many other areas of my life.

I know that I must be a comrade to the African American community and I'd like to think that I am. I also know that there are things that I can work on in my life, and thought process, to become more anti-racist.

It does feel awkward to address these issues. I don't want to feel white guilt. I don't want to feel like because of my white skin I can swoop in and help people of color fight racism. I don't want to say the wrong thing.

But I do want to open up the discussion of racism. I do want people to know that I don't believe in the #AllLivesMatter movement. I do believe that Black Lives Matter and I want it to be more than just a hashtag. I do want equality and justice for everyone. I do believe in no justice no peace.

I don't want to see people killed anymore. It seems more and more like we're at war with each other. I don't have any answers or solutions, I just wanted to add my voice to the discussion and let people know where I stand.

Thanks for reading.

Imperial Red 8x10" print.

So, to help cover some of the costs of my sweet little dog, I've decided to have a print sale. All of my 8x10" and 11x14" prints are 50% off using the code PRINTSALE50 at checkout.

New holiday card is coming soon!

This is what I mostly worked on today. I wanted to do one more holiday card before I sent my holiday card image sheet to wholesale buyers and I did it!

It's been another challenging week in the Chloe Baloney department. She had something called Hemorrhagic Gastroenteritis. I won't get into details because it's not the most pleasant illness. There was a lot of blood and other bodily fluids and she wasn't doing well at all. 

After day 4 I took her back to her vet and they pumped her full of fluids and antibiotics. 

She's doing much better today. I think she'll be almost 100% tomorrow.

Sometimes I feel like all her illness is my fault somehow. I know it's not, but I'm her primary caretaker and sometimes it feels like I'm the one responsible for her health, and she's just a very healthy dog.

I guess that's what happens when you love another being. When things aren't going well for them we ask ourselves what WE could be doing wrong. 

It's really hard taking care of a dog that seems to have so many issues. I care about her so much, I just want her to have the happiest, healthiest life. I wish I had a magic wand to heal all her ailments.

She's such a bright, strong little being. I'm hoping this is the last of the serious health issues for awhile. So is my bank account.

Done! I'm done with 2 new holiday card designs. Whoohoo!

This one is of downtown Portland during Christmas. I love downtown Portland during the holidays. I always get Silver Bells stuck in my head when I head down there that time of year. 

I've been working on holiday cards today. It's always kind of weird to be thinking Christmas when it's 88 degrees outside, but it has to be done. Buyers are already thinking of placing their holiday orders and I really want to be on top of it this year.

This one reminds me of last November when Nate and couple of our friends went downtown to watch the tree lighting ceremony. 

I have never been to the tree lighting ceremony before. Almost 20 years of living here, and I have never been. I've always really wanted to go but I usually had to work, or the weather was terrible. 

We went last year because we didn't have to work and the weather was chilly, but really nice. It was a great experience. Being there with friends, surrounded by thousands of people all crowded around a huge tree in out pretty city.

I'm hoping to go again this year, if the weather is nice and Nate doesn't have to work. 

By now we've all heard the news about Orlando. We've all said our thoughts on Facebook and changed our profile pictures. We've said what we've had to say on Twitter and on various blogs. For me, most of my friends and followers are stricken with sadness and anger and frustration. I'm all those things too.

I just don't know what to say about things like this anymore. Sometimes I feel like saying nothing on social media is best for me. I feel like maybe those who follow me and who are my friends already know that I'm heart broken about the situation. I know for many people it's a showing of solidarity and mourning by posting their thoughts and memes on social media, but for me silence and reflection work best.

It's been more than 24 hours since this horrific act of violence has happened. I've had a chance to process it. I still don't have the words to express my grief, sadness, frustration and anger. I know this will happen again. I know that the chances of even more lives are greater now. I know that processing this kind of act is something that we will all have to live through again and again because it doesn't seem like any real changes are being done to stop it.

I feel like all I can do right now is hope that it doesn't hit too close to home...

I will always choose love over hate. 

xoxoxoxoxo

Brock Turner, an ex-Stanford student and swimmer raped a woman and only got a 6 month jail sentence for his actions. According to the judge who sentenced him, anything longer than a 6 month jail sentence would "have a severe impact on him."

This makes me afraid, angry, disheartened, hurt and beyond sorry for the woman who was raped by him. A woman who only wanted to go out with her sister to a party. She was raped, while unconscious, and left with her clothes up over head until someone found her and took her to a hospital.

Why isn't this man being held more accountable? Because he's white. Because he's an athlete. Because he's privileged. Because today, in 2016, we still live in a rape culture.

People need to know this guys name, Brock Turner. This is what he looks like.

People should know what he did. People need to be aware that this is still happening because women shouldn't be afraid to go to a party at night. 

 I want the woman who was raped to know that there are many people out there who feel that he should get a true and just sentencing. That what she had to endure was not right and that her feelings about what happened to her are valid. 

This is her letter that she wrote to Brock Turner.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/katiejmbaker/heres-the-powerful-letter-the-stanford-victim-read-to-her-ra?utm_term=.dvzVRNOzX#.mxY0GwXjb

This is the letter that Brock Turner's dad wrote: